[ it helps, though - not because of the size, the red still visible around the edges of taair's long fingers, but the contact itself. it's a reminder, an anchor to reality, and the thought diminishes, the red, the awful faces, all at once, and he turns his hand a tiny bit, enough to gently link their fingers. ]
Mm.
[ the noise is soft in agreement. it will take a long time to leave him, but... fidelio's right, and he exhales out, a little shaky, bolstered as he sets his composure back into place, takes the logical explanation in line with his own. She would tell me it was a good thing, that I defended myself against her.
... ]
...I wanted to live. [ like an admittance. saying so makes him feel a little guilty, but - in the fuzzy haze of his memories in that room, his instinct for the first time was to fight back, not to just -- not to just take it. maybe it was facing caris, or maybe it was miguel, or maybe it was knowing there were good things to come back to. ]
no subject
Mm.
[ the noise is soft in agreement. it will take a long time to leave him, but... fidelio's right, and he exhales out, a little shaky, bolstered as he sets his composure back into place, takes the logical explanation in line with his own. She would tell me it was a good thing, that I defended myself against her.
... ]
...I wanted to live. [ like an admittance. saying so makes him feel a little guilty, but - in the fuzzy haze of his memories in that room, his instinct for the first time was to fight back, not to just -- not to just take it. maybe it was facing caris, or maybe it was miguel, or maybe it was knowing there were good things to come back to. ]