[ with a little sniffle, he tucks his book back into his bag and will join him - slow is fine, and he readjusts his pace easily to keep with fidelio's, keeping a hold on his hand and keeping a mindful eye on his walk, too. it's a good distraction on top of the company, and he makes a soft, thoughtful noise. ]
... We could, though...[ ... though currently, it's a memory associated with a corpse on the front doorstep just as much as it is one that will likely have interruption, which is normally quite fine, but he's not exactly at his most composed, and after a long, tiring week, maybe... ]
I think - have you ever experienced a 'pillow fort'? [ with a tiny twinkle in his eye. ] There is one currently set up on the floor of my room. Chrono is with Laurence at the moment, and I...had plans to clean it up, but I can do so later.
[ yeah, the park normally would have been his initial thought, but that's probably going to be out as an option for a good while too, even after the blood is gone from the grass.
'pillow fort', on the other hand... is definitely not an answer he's expecting, but it does sound pretty inviting right now. ]
Heard of 'em, but can't say I've experienced one, no. Seems like a good enough time to change that.
his smile warms a little further, and he nods. ] Then, allow me to share this new experience with you.
[ it is much too formal of a statement for such a ridiculous idea, going to sit in a pillow fort, but that's kind of the point. he feels... a little lighter, already, not being alone.
so! down the hall to taair and chrono's room they go. opening the door, the room itself is not overtly decorated - there are touches of both occupants on the beds, on the walls. hand drawn pictures, bookshelves stuffed full with books, potted flowers on the (still open) windowsill, bookbinding materials and stacks of stationery on a small corner desk, a corkboard full of letters and labeled envelopes, pressed flowers and presents, a small television sitting on a stand between the two beds. the most obvious is of course that all the blankets have been stripped from the bed, and there are pillows tossed about all over the center of the floor, propped up against the beds, and a blanket stretched over the bedposts to make the aforementioned fort. it's messy in comparison to literally everything else, but there's something inherently homey about it, too.
he stretches his free hand outwards, and says, with the faintest hint of amusement underlaying his voice: ] Ta-da.
[ it may not be that much decoration, but it's a hell of a lot more than fidelio and majima ever bothered to do with their room when neither of them really stayed in it. and as much as he'd contributed to the decor in basilio and jiaoqiu's room, he doesn't have much of anything of his own in there, aside from his beanbag chair and blanket. he doesn't keep trinkets or anything there since it's not his space to take up. so it's nice, seeing a room that actually looks lived in that he hasn't shoved himself into as a third wheel.
the fort is much less fort-like than he was really imagining — he had a vague picture of something involving a wall of pillows carefully stacked like bricks along with whichever ones were laid out for sitting on — but it's cosy and nice. something he imagines would have been fun to do with basilio when they were kids, if they'd ever had more than a single pillow between them. ]
Damn, you didn't tell me there were blankets involved too. Pretty nice.
this makes him laugh, genuine - it's a little silly, but it's nice, all the same. ]
Who would I be to give all the details when they could be experienced, instead? [ as if this is a grand adventure and not just a pillow fort. it is indeed just a pillow fort.
he nudges one of the pillows out of the way so that fidelio can walk easily forward into the fort without agitating his injuries, then drops down, holding the blanket fort up with his free hand and gesturing with his head and a slight bow. ]
No. The fortification would require decidedly more stuffing. Perhaps some stuffed animal artillery.
[ there's another little burst of soft amusement, and he crawls in next to him, adjusting the pillows to make space and make sure they're comfortable - offering one for him to put his foot on too because he cannot resist the urge to be a healer, then settling down beside him and making himself comfortable. ]
It was a bit of both. I suggested setting up a place for Laurence to sleep for the night: Chrono thought of the pillow fort. We ended up watching films until late last night. [ there's a ripple of fondness and something sad, again, soft, as the emotions fade. ] ...It was good for the both of them, I think, if nothing else.
he thinks for a moment who laurence's roommate is... and there's a little flash of sadness and guilt when he remembers. ]
Ah.
[ yeah, he guesses that makes sense. laurence and yves were both having a rough time after the trial, each for their own reasons, so this was a nice thing to offer. he doesn't know chrono well, but he seems like a good kid. one who cares too much to be in a place like this. ]
Lucky they got someone like you lookin' out for 'em.
[ yeah, that's a mood. it reflects back in taair's emotions - guilt, sadness, and deep concern. he worries so much for those teens, and all of the suffering that they've been through. his gaze lingers on the other bed for a moment, and the compliment surprises him a little, and he ducks his head after, finally pulling his eyes away. ]
...That's very sweet of you to say, Fidelio - thank you. There is not much that I can do, in the face of such loss and sorrow.
[ taair is no hero. he's not much for others, beyond just a bird in a little cage. he can't stop the trials, or stop yves from rushing into danger and bearing the load of pain by himself. he can't stop laurence's friends from dying in front of him. he can't stop the thursday trips, or get god to listen, or move any of the large cogs in their system in the right direction. there's not much for a pawn to do, as there never is.
but... ] ...If I can make two children forget their troubles for just a little while, then... that is more than enough, for me.
Truthfully, I'm the most glad that they have each other more than anything. They've become quite close. [ there's another twist of that sadness, the hinting gnawing of grief and loneliness - the only way to get through grief is with time, and not to bear the burden alone. claude's loss ripples in the back of his mind, once more. ] I would not be surprised if Chrono stays the night at the hospital, this evening.
[ there's actually a faint mirroring of that lonely feeling this time, because... sometimes fidelio's not quite sure how he fits into basilio's life here. bas has lots of friends he's close to, and that's great. he's taking the lead and doing things on his own just like fidelio had wished for him to do when he was gone.
but now he's not gone, and he doesn't really know how to deal with everything that changed in the time that he was. he was always used to basilio telling him everything that happened in his life, seeking his input on everything. now he's doing things on his own every day that fidelio never even hears about. there's a little wave of panic that goes through him every time he learns about some seemingly important thing that happened to basilio that he never knew about — just like what had come up on chipper earlier today.
he's felt bad for a while about the way he's shoved himself into basilio and jiaoqiu's room when he doesn't belong there — he was never actually invited, and he knows he's always been overbearing — and while wanting to be there to protect basilio is still part of it, he's also just been desperately clinging for a way to stay relevant and know what's going on in his life now that he's grown up so much.
it's a stupid and selfish thing to worry about when there's so much worse going on, and he doesn't want to hold basilio back, either. he already spent most of their lives doing that. so he tries not to think about any of it. and it's been better this week, since they opened their diner here; that's something that's theirs together, a personal dream for just the two of them, that he doesn't have to worry about not being a part of. and so, blessedly, he hasn't had those feelings seeping out this week for other people to pick up on.
but feeling that emotion when taair is talking about being happy for two people having each other when it means he's here in the room alone... it's different, but he sort of gets it. ]
That'll be good for him, I think. Havin' a friend like that there with him after everything that happened.
[ ... ]
Don't mind stickin' around until he gets back if you want me to.
[ taair's too quick to not pick up on that little trace, if only because it's so familiar. for a moment, he worries it's just a feedback loop, that maybe he's leaking his own problems directly onto fidelio's. he can't know about the context, but he does know that whatever's causing it, be it himself or something deeper, he wants to soothe it, wants to provide some kind of a balm to the feeling that has haunted him his entire life.
you don't have to be alone, if you don't go off where people can't reach you. it really was the exact right thing to say, and the phrase echoes somewhere in the back of his mind. fidelio reached out his hand to taair, literally and metaphorically, and has over and over - and here now is a chance to reach back.
he's quiet for a moment as he takes in the offer, head turned to just look at him. he wasn't expecting the offer, and it blooms a warmth like a plucked string over the grief and sorrow, echoing a sense of gratitude, something deeper than surface level. ]
... I would love that. [ taair says, soft voiced, soft smile. he has always been a person of simple joys, a person who dreamed of telling stories and traveling the world with companions instead of power or wealth or fame. a person who craved close connection, and a person who has finally begun to find it. this moment feels as precious and tender as a rainy night spent in a cave around a fire - the most precious memory taair has.
there's a beat, as the nostalgia of that rainy evening puts into focus the actual likelihood of the time at hand. he glances away, again, and there's the tiniest dusting of pink on his nose in the dim light as he curls his fingers lightly in the air, hesitates, and then sets two delicate fingertips on his arm. ]
Though... it's likely that he won't return until the morning. [ ... ] If... that's alright with you?
[ the offer is said in more words than necessary, but what else is new: i want you here. will you stay? ]
[ he nods; that was how he'd understood it when he'd made the offer anyway. (though it does also occur to him how it might be interpreted, even if that really wasn't what he had in mind.)
either way... that lost feeling that had broken through a moment ago gets washed away by something much warmer again, and he smiles. ]
[ that gets echoed, too - and after a beat, he scooches a little closer, pressing their shoulders together. close enough to the same height, sitting down. ]
Then... thank you, for whiling away the hours with me. [ genuine, though lightly - ] If I bore you to sleep with chatter, I promise I won't be offended.
[ there are more affectionate feelings as their shoulders touch, and something... maybe a little bit fluttery? ]
Doubt you really have to worry about that, but I'll... er...
[ ...he's suddenly very aware of how close their faces are now that they're facing each other like this. which isn't something he'd normally think twice about, except that they did have that sort of semi-official date last week, and now that fluttery feeling is getting a lot more prominent, along with the pink colour rising in his cheeks.
...
and then he glances away. fuck, what is he doing. ]
distracted by looking down at his lap, by his own thoughts turning over and over, it's the bloom of affection that stops it, and right as that fluttering warmth hits, taair lifts his head. just like that, they're nose to nose, and he blinks, once, twice - though it's half a beat late, his own emotions bubble up like a rolling wave, a matching crescendo to fidelio's as his breath catches.
it's that same fluttery feeling, the warmth of butterflies that briefly steal all the words from his eloquent tongue: in unison, color blooms red across his face with the surge of affection, and his heart does a backflip. there's a beat. one. two. ]
... [ and then, as the moment breaks, taair flushes even further and drops his head, tucking a piece of his hair behind one very red ear - despite the critical embarrassment that bleeds in, a feeling of utter fluster, there's a shy smile on his face even still. ]
Hha. [ what was he doing, indeed... ] Well! You say that, but we'll see.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ with a little sniffle, he tucks his book back into his bag and will join him - slow is fine, and he readjusts his pace easily to keep with fidelio's, keeping a hold on his hand and keeping a mindful eye on his walk, too. it's a good distraction on top of the company, and he makes a soft, thoughtful noise. ]
... We could, though...[ ... though currently, it's a memory associated with a corpse on the front doorstep just as much as it is one that will likely have interruption, which is normally quite fine, but he's not exactly at his most composed, and after a long, tiring week, maybe... ]
I think - have you ever experienced a 'pillow fort'? [ with a tiny twinkle in his eye. ] There is one currently set up on the floor of my room. Chrono is with Laurence at the moment, and I...had plans to clean it up, but I can do so later.
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'pillow fort', on the other hand... is definitely not an answer he's expecting, but it does sound pretty inviting right now. ]
Heard of 'em, but can't say I've experienced one, no. Seems like a good enough time to change that.
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his smile warms a little further, and he nods. ] Then, allow me to share this new experience with you.
[ it is much too formal of a statement for such a ridiculous idea, going to sit in a pillow fort, but that's kind of the point. he feels... a little lighter, already, not being alone.
so! down the hall to taair and chrono's room they go. opening the door, the room itself is not overtly decorated - there are touches of both occupants on the beds, on the walls. hand drawn pictures, bookshelves stuffed full with books, potted flowers on the (still open) windowsill, bookbinding materials and stacks of stationery on a small corner desk, a corkboard full of letters and labeled envelopes, pressed flowers and presents, a small television sitting on a stand between the two beds. the most obvious is of course that all the blankets have been stripped from the bed, and there are pillows tossed about all over the center of the floor, propped up against the beds, and a blanket stretched over the bedposts to make the aforementioned fort. it's messy in comparison to literally everything else, but there's something inherently homey about it, too.
he stretches his free hand outwards, and says, with the faintest hint of amusement underlaying his voice: ] Ta-da.
no subject
the fort is much less fort-like than he was really imagining — he had a vague picture of something involving a wall of pillows carefully stacked like bricks along with whichever ones were laid out for sitting on — but it's cosy and nice. something he imagines would have been fun to do with basilio when they were kids, if they'd ever had more than a single pillow between them. ]
Damn, you didn't tell me there were blankets involved too. Pretty nice.
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this makes him laugh, genuine - it's a little silly, but it's nice, all the same. ]
Who would I be to give all the details when they could be experienced, instead? [ as if this is a grand adventure and not just a pillow fort. it is indeed just a pillow fort.
he nudges one of the pillows out of the way so that fidelio can walk easily forward into the fort without agitating his injuries, then drops down, holding the blanket fort up with his free hand and gesturing with his head and a slight bow. ]
After you.
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Yeah, not bad. Wouldn't hold up in an all-out bedding war, but.
This his idea or yours?
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[ there's another little burst of soft amusement, and he crawls in next to him, adjusting the pillows to make space and make sure they're comfortable - offering one for him to put his foot on too because he cannot resist the urge to be a healer, then settling down beside him and making himself comfortable. ]
It was a bit of both. I suggested setting up a place for Laurence to sleep for the night: Chrono thought of the pillow fort. We ended up watching films until late last night. [ there's a ripple of fondness and something sad, again, soft, as the emotions fade. ] ...It was good for the both of them, I think, if nothing else.
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he thinks for a moment who laurence's roommate is... and there's a little flash of sadness and guilt when he remembers. ]
Ah.
[ yeah, he guesses that makes sense. laurence and yves were both having a rough time after the trial, each for their own reasons, so this was a nice thing to offer. he doesn't know chrono well, but he seems like a good kid. one who cares too much to be in a place like this. ]
Lucky they got someone like you lookin' out for 'em.
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...That's very sweet of you to say, Fidelio - thank you. There is not much that I can do, in the face of such loss and sorrow.
[ taair is no hero. he's not much for others, beyond just a bird in a little cage. he can't stop the trials, or stop yves from rushing into danger and bearing the load of pain by himself. he can't stop laurence's friends from dying in front of him. he can't stop the thursday trips, or get god to listen, or move any of the large cogs in their system in the right direction. there's not much for a pawn to do, as there never is.
but... ] ...If I can make two children forget their troubles for just a little while, then... that is more than enough, for me.
Truthfully, I'm the most glad that they have each other more than anything. They've become quite close. [ there's another twist of that sadness, the hinting gnawing of grief and loneliness - the only way to get through grief is with time, and not to bear the burden alone. claude's loss ripples in the back of his mind, once more. ] I would not be surprised if Chrono stays the night at the hospital, this evening.
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but now he's not gone, and he doesn't really know how to deal with everything that changed in the time that he was. he was always used to basilio telling him everything that happened in his life, seeking his input on everything. now he's doing things on his own every day that fidelio never even hears about. there's a little wave of panic that goes through him every time he learns about some seemingly important thing that happened to basilio that he never knew about — just like what had come up on chipper earlier today.
he's felt bad for a while about the way he's shoved himself into basilio and jiaoqiu's room when he doesn't belong there — he was never actually invited, and he knows he's always been overbearing — and while wanting to be there to protect basilio is still part of it, he's also just been desperately clinging for a way to stay relevant and know what's going on in his life now that he's grown up so much.
it's a stupid and selfish thing to worry about when there's so much worse going on, and he doesn't want to hold basilio back, either. he already spent most of their lives doing that. so he tries not to think about any of it. and it's been better this week, since they opened their diner here; that's something that's theirs together, a personal dream for just the two of them, that he doesn't have to worry about not being a part of. and so, blessedly, he hasn't had those feelings seeping out this week for other people to pick up on.
but feeling that emotion when taair is talking about being happy for two people having each other when it means he's here in the room alone... it's different, but he sort of gets it. ]
That'll be good for him, I think. Havin' a friend like that there with him after everything that happened.
[ ... ]
Don't mind stickin' around until he gets back if you want me to.
no subject
you don't have to be alone, if you don't go off where people can't reach you. it really was the exact right thing to say, and the phrase echoes somewhere in the back of his mind. fidelio reached out his hand to taair, literally and metaphorically, and has over and over - and here now is a chance to reach back.
he's quiet for a moment as he takes in the offer, head turned to just look at him. he wasn't expecting the offer, and it blooms a warmth like a plucked string over the grief and sorrow, echoing a sense of gratitude, something deeper than surface level. ]
... I would love that. [ taair says, soft voiced, soft smile. he has always been a person of simple joys, a person who dreamed of telling stories and traveling the world with companions instead of power or wealth or fame. a person who craved close connection, and a person who has finally begun to find it. this moment feels as precious and tender as a rainy night spent in a cave around a fire - the most precious memory taair has.
there's a beat, as the nostalgia of that rainy evening puts into focus the actual likelihood of the time at hand. he glances away, again, and there's the tiniest dusting of pink on his nose in the dim light as he curls his fingers lightly in the air, hesitates, and then sets two delicate fingertips on his arm. ]
Though... it's likely that he won't return until the morning. [ ... ] If... that's alright with you?
[ the offer is said in more words than necessary, but what else is new: i want you here. will you stay? ]
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either way... that lost feeling that had broken through a moment ago gets washed away by something much warmer again, and he smiles. ]
Got nowhere else I need to be tonight, so. Sure.
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[ that gets echoed, too - and after a beat, he scooches a little closer, pressing their shoulders together. close enough to the same height, sitting down. ]
Then... thank you, for whiling away the hours with me. [ genuine, though lightly - ] If I bore you to sleep with chatter, I promise I won't be offended.
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Doubt you really have to worry about that, but I'll... er...
[ ...he's suddenly very aware of how close their faces are now that they're facing each other like this. which isn't something he'd normally think twice about, except that they did have that sort of semi-official date last week, and now that fluttery feeling is getting a lot more prominent, along with the pink colour rising in his cheeks.
...
and then he glances away. fuck, what is he doing. ]
I-I'll keep that in mind.
no subject
distracted by looking down at his lap, by his own thoughts turning over and over, it's the bloom of affection that stops it, and right as that fluttering warmth hits, taair lifts his head. just like that, they're nose to nose, and he blinks, once, twice - though it's half a beat late, his own emotions bubble up like a rolling wave, a matching crescendo to fidelio's as his breath catches.
it's that same fluttery feeling, the warmth of butterflies that briefly steal all the words from his eloquent tongue: in unison, color blooms red across his face with the surge of affection, and his heart does a backflip. there's a beat. one. two. ]
... [ and then, as the moment breaks, taair flushes even further and drops his head, tucking a piece of his hair behind one very red ear - despite the critical embarrassment that bleeds in, a feeling of utter fluster, there's a shy smile on his face even still. ]
Hha. [ what was he doing, indeed... ] Well! You say that, but we'll see.