he thinks for a moment who laurence's roommate is... and there's a little flash of sadness and guilt when he remembers. ]
Ah.
[ yeah, he guesses that makes sense. laurence and yves were both having a rough time after the trial, each for their own reasons, so this was a nice thing to offer. he doesn't know chrono well, but he seems like a good kid. one who cares too much to be in a place like this. ]
Lucky they got someone like you lookin' out for 'em.
[ yeah, that's a mood. it reflects back in taair's emotions - guilt, sadness, and deep concern. he worries so much for those teens, and all of the suffering that they've been through. his gaze lingers on the other bed for a moment, and the compliment surprises him a little, and he ducks his head after, finally pulling his eyes away. ]
...That's very sweet of you to say, Fidelio - thank you. There is not much that I can do, in the face of such loss and sorrow.
[ taair is no hero. he's not much for others, beyond just a bird in a little cage. he can't stop the trials, or stop yves from rushing into danger and bearing the load of pain by himself. he can't stop laurence's friends from dying in front of him. he can't stop the thursday trips, or get god to listen, or move any of the large cogs in their system in the right direction. there's not much for a pawn to do, as there never is.
but... ] ...If I can make two children forget their troubles for just a little while, then... that is more than enough, for me.
Truthfully, I'm the most glad that they have each other more than anything. They've become quite close. [ there's another twist of that sadness, the hinting gnawing of grief and loneliness - the only way to get through grief is with time, and not to bear the burden alone. claude's loss ripples in the back of his mind, once more. ] I would not be surprised if Chrono stays the night at the hospital, this evening.
[ there's actually a faint mirroring of that lonely feeling this time, because... sometimes fidelio's not quite sure how he fits into basilio's life here. bas has lots of friends he's close to, and that's great. he's taking the lead and doing things on his own just like fidelio had wished for him to do when he was gone.
but now he's not gone, and he doesn't really know how to deal with everything that changed in the time that he was. he was always used to basilio telling him everything that happened in his life, seeking his input on everything. now he's doing things on his own every day that fidelio never even hears about. there's a little wave of panic that goes through him every time he learns about some seemingly important thing that happened to basilio that he never knew about — just like what had come up on chipper earlier today.
he's felt bad for a while about the way he's shoved himself into basilio and jiaoqiu's room when he doesn't belong there — he was never actually invited, and he knows he's always been overbearing — and while wanting to be there to protect basilio is still part of it, he's also just been desperately clinging for a way to stay relevant and know what's going on in his life now that he's grown up so much.
it's a stupid and selfish thing to worry about when there's so much worse going on, and he doesn't want to hold basilio back, either. he already spent most of their lives doing that. so he tries not to think about any of it. and it's been better this week, since they opened their diner here; that's something that's theirs together, a personal dream for just the two of them, that he doesn't have to worry about not being a part of. and so, blessedly, he hasn't had those feelings seeping out this week for other people to pick up on.
but feeling that emotion when taair is talking about being happy for two people having each other when it means he's here in the room alone... it's different, but he sort of gets it. ]
That'll be good for him, I think. Havin' a friend like that there with him after everything that happened.
[ ... ]
Don't mind stickin' around until he gets back if you want me to.
[ taair's too quick to not pick up on that little trace, if only because it's so familiar. for a moment, he worries it's just a feedback loop, that maybe he's leaking his own problems directly onto fidelio's. he can't know about the context, but he does know that whatever's causing it, be it himself or something deeper, he wants to soothe it, wants to provide some kind of a balm to the feeling that has haunted him his entire life.
you don't have to be alone, if you don't go off where people can't reach you. it really was the exact right thing to say, and the phrase echoes somewhere in the back of his mind. fidelio reached out his hand to taair, literally and metaphorically, and has over and over - and here now is a chance to reach back.
he's quiet for a moment as he takes in the offer, head turned to just look at him. he wasn't expecting the offer, and it blooms a warmth like a plucked string over the grief and sorrow, echoing a sense of gratitude, something deeper than surface level. ]
... I would love that. [ taair says, soft voiced, soft smile. he has always been a person of simple joys, a person who dreamed of telling stories and traveling the world with companions instead of power or wealth or fame. a person who craved close connection, and a person who has finally begun to find it. this moment feels as precious and tender as a rainy night spent in a cave around a fire - the most precious memory taair has.
there's a beat, as the nostalgia of that rainy evening puts into focus the actual likelihood of the time at hand. he glances away, again, and there's the tiniest dusting of pink on his nose in the dim light as he curls his fingers lightly in the air, hesitates, and then sets two delicate fingertips on his arm. ]
Though... it's likely that he won't return until the morning. [ ... ] If... that's alright with you?
[ the offer is said in more words than necessary, but what else is new: i want you here. will you stay? ]
[ he nods; that was how he'd understood it when he'd made the offer anyway. (though it does also occur to him how it might be interpreted, even if that really wasn't what he had in mind.)
either way... that lost feeling that had broken through a moment ago gets washed away by something much warmer again, and he smiles. ]
[ that gets echoed, too - and after a beat, he scooches a little closer, pressing their shoulders together. close enough to the same height, sitting down. ]
Then... thank you, for whiling away the hours with me. [ genuine, though lightly - ] If I bore you to sleep with chatter, I promise I won't be offended.
[ there are more affectionate feelings as their shoulders touch, and something... maybe a little bit fluttery? ]
Doubt you really have to worry about that, but I'll... er...
[ ...he's suddenly very aware of how close their faces are now that they're facing each other like this. which isn't something he'd normally think twice about, except that they did have that sort of semi-official date last week, and now that fluttery feeling is getting a lot more prominent, along with the pink colour rising in his cheeks.
...
and then he glances away. fuck, what is he doing. ]
distracted by looking down at his lap, by his own thoughts turning over and over, it's the bloom of affection that stops it, and right as that fluttering warmth hits, taair lifts his head. just like that, they're nose to nose, and he blinks, once, twice - though it's half a beat late, his own emotions bubble up like a rolling wave, a matching crescendo to fidelio's as his breath catches.
it's that same fluttery feeling, the warmth of butterflies that briefly steal all the words from his eloquent tongue: in unison, color blooms red across his face with the surge of affection, and his heart does a backflip. there's a beat. one. two. ]
... [ and then, as the moment breaks, taair flushes even further and drops his head, tucking a piece of his hair behind one very red ear - despite the critical embarrassment that bleeds in, a feeling of utter fluster, there's a shy smile on his face even still. ]
Hha. [ what was he doing, indeed... ] Well! You say that, but we'll see.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
he thinks for a moment who laurence's roommate is... and there's a little flash of sadness and guilt when he remembers. ]
Ah.
[ yeah, he guesses that makes sense. laurence and yves were both having a rough time after the trial, each for their own reasons, so this was a nice thing to offer. he doesn't know chrono well, but he seems like a good kid. one who cares too much to be in a place like this. ]
Lucky they got someone like you lookin' out for 'em.
no subject
...That's very sweet of you to say, Fidelio - thank you. There is not much that I can do, in the face of such loss and sorrow.
[ taair is no hero. he's not much for others, beyond just a bird in a little cage. he can't stop the trials, or stop yves from rushing into danger and bearing the load of pain by himself. he can't stop laurence's friends from dying in front of him. he can't stop the thursday trips, or get god to listen, or move any of the large cogs in their system in the right direction. there's not much for a pawn to do, as there never is.
but... ] ...If I can make two children forget their troubles for just a little while, then... that is more than enough, for me.
Truthfully, I'm the most glad that they have each other more than anything. They've become quite close. [ there's another twist of that sadness, the hinting gnawing of grief and loneliness - the only way to get through grief is with time, and not to bear the burden alone. claude's loss ripples in the back of his mind, once more. ] I would not be surprised if Chrono stays the night at the hospital, this evening.
no subject
but now he's not gone, and he doesn't really know how to deal with everything that changed in the time that he was. he was always used to basilio telling him everything that happened in his life, seeking his input on everything. now he's doing things on his own every day that fidelio never even hears about. there's a little wave of panic that goes through him every time he learns about some seemingly important thing that happened to basilio that he never knew about — just like what had come up on chipper earlier today.
he's felt bad for a while about the way he's shoved himself into basilio and jiaoqiu's room when he doesn't belong there — he was never actually invited, and he knows he's always been overbearing — and while wanting to be there to protect basilio is still part of it, he's also just been desperately clinging for a way to stay relevant and know what's going on in his life now that he's grown up so much.
it's a stupid and selfish thing to worry about when there's so much worse going on, and he doesn't want to hold basilio back, either. he already spent most of their lives doing that. so he tries not to think about any of it. and it's been better this week, since they opened their diner here; that's something that's theirs together, a personal dream for just the two of them, that he doesn't have to worry about not being a part of. and so, blessedly, he hasn't had those feelings seeping out this week for other people to pick up on.
but feeling that emotion when taair is talking about being happy for two people having each other when it means he's here in the room alone... it's different, but he sort of gets it. ]
That'll be good for him, I think. Havin' a friend like that there with him after everything that happened.
[ ... ]
Don't mind stickin' around until he gets back if you want me to.
no subject
you don't have to be alone, if you don't go off where people can't reach you. it really was the exact right thing to say, and the phrase echoes somewhere in the back of his mind. fidelio reached out his hand to taair, literally and metaphorically, and has over and over - and here now is a chance to reach back.
he's quiet for a moment as he takes in the offer, head turned to just look at him. he wasn't expecting the offer, and it blooms a warmth like a plucked string over the grief and sorrow, echoing a sense of gratitude, something deeper than surface level. ]
... I would love that. [ taair says, soft voiced, soft smile. he has always been a person of simple joys, a person who dreamed of telling stories and traveling the world with companions instead of power or wealth or fame. a person who craved close connection, and a person who has finally begun to find it. this moment feels as precious and tender as a rainy night spent in a cave around a fire - the most precious memory taair has.
there's a beat, as the nostalgia of that rainy evening puts into focus the actual likelihood of the time at hand. he glances away, again, and there's the tiniest dusting of pink on his nose in the dim light as he curls his fingers lightly in the air, hesitates, and then sets two delicate fingertips on his arm. ]
Though... it's likely that he won't return until the morning. [ ... ] If... that's alright with you?
[ the offer is said in more words than necessary, but what else is new: i want you here. will you stay? ]
no subject
either way... that lost feeling that had broken through a moment ago gets washed away by something much warmer again, and he smiles. ]
Got nowhere else I need to be tonight, so. Sure.
no subject
[ that gets echoed, too - and after a beat, he scooches a little closer, pressing their shoulders together. close enough to the same height, sitting down. ]
Then... thank you, for whiling away the hours with me. [ genuine, though lightly - ] If I bore you to sleep with chatter, I promise I won't be offended.
no subject
Doubt you really have to worry about that, but I'll... er...
[ ...he's suddenly very aware of how close their faces are now that they're facing each other like this. which isn't something he'd normally think twice about, except that they did have that sort of semi-official date last week, and now that fluttery feeling is getting a lot more prominent, along with the pink colour rising in his cheeks.
...
and then he glances away. fuck, what is he doing. ]
I-I'll keep that in mind.
no subject
distracted by looking down at his lap, by his own thoughts turning over and over, it's the bloom of affection that stops it, and right as that fluttering warmth hits, taair lifts his head. just like that, they're nose to nose, and he blinks, once, twice - though it's half a beat late, his own emotions bubble up like a rolling wave, a matching crescendo to fidelio's as his breath catches.
it's that same fluttery feeling, the warmth of butterflies that briefly steal all the words from his eloquent tongue: in unison, color blooms red across his face with the surge of affection, and his heart does a backflip. there's a beat. one. two. ]
... [ and then, as the moment breaks, taair flushes even further and drops his head, tucking a piece of his hair behind one very red ear - despite the critical embarrassment that bleeds in, a feeling of utter fluster, there's a shy smile on his face even still. ]
Hha. [ what was he doing, indeed... ] Well! You say that, but we'll see.