[ I AM SURE HE IS WELL ATTENDED TO BUT ALSO AAAAA taair has been working on triaging everyone he could - he is tired, and a little bloody, and very very stressed, but once jiaoqiu is set up in the hospital where he's supposed to be...
taair will come visit! he's holding something under his arm, and says, softly: ] Jiaoqiu...?
[ gives you a general wound overview: he has like, stab wounds everywhere. it's his shoulder, his legs, and in his stomach. they look like someone was trying to run him through with a sword with the shoulder and stomach, but the legs are more shallow, thinner. one of his arms is just absolutely useless - a gouge near the inner elbow/forearm, something that looks like it was made with some sort of sharp teeth. it's messy. there's also some sort of gouge-y bite wound on his shoulder, too.
he's got slash marks across his face, too. kind of claw like. and his left ear is ripped in half - it's missing the top half of it, so he's just got half an ear.
he's curled up on a bed, shivery and staring at the wall, but it is unclear as to how much he is really able to see. he tilts his head with a lot of effort, and then, raw: ]
awful. cool. at least everything is hopefully (?) bandaged - the quick once over of his wounds makes his heart lurch, and it reads all over his face, in the very soft inhale he makes before he breathes back out. ]
...Yes - yes, it's me. [ and there's warmth in his voice as he says it, warmth and worry all at once as he crosses the room and heads straight to the side of the bed. he sets down whatever he's holding - if jiaoqiu's nose isn't too fucked up, he'll catch the smell of flowers. ] Oh, Jiaoqiu... is there anything I can get you?
it's all bandaged yes, mostly. he slumps against the wall - he is sitting up, because nobody could convince him to lay down properly. he catches the smell of flowers and it makes him shudder, closing his eyes. ]
Tell me - the others. Did they survive? [ urgently. a little desperate. ]
anyway NOOO FUCKS UP IMMEDIATELY but, those hurriedly set aside, he's right there.
and just as quickly - calm and steady, making sure he maintains jiaoqiu's usual bedside manner though not so perfectly: he cannot keep the worry out of his voice, no matter how soothing. it's still assured, though. ] Everyone has been stabilized, and everyone will be fine. They're in adjoining rooms. Between all of us, we saw to all of your injuries.
I can take you to their rooms, if you'd like... that is what everyone else has wanted.
If I let you stand, then I would not be enacting the very principles of care you have instilled in me.
[ there's a very soft hint of wry humor in the way he says it, a little lightness in the face of all this horror, though it doesn't last. he shifts a little closer, making sure to enunciate as he looks up at his ear injury, and then back down. ]
So... I'll wheel you in there, in a little while. But only in a little while. [ ... ] Jiaoqiu... whatever injuries they had - everyone came back alive.
[ oh boy. he will come closer - jiaoqiu can probably hear him rifling through the closest cabinet until he comes up with a wet wipe, pulling it out of the container, though he stills at that. hm. ]
[ he says, this time with firmness. finality. it softens, after. ]
I thought many of the same things - that everything I experienced followed me. It did not, no matter how much I felt it did. I found... the more logical people that I spoke with, the more it helped soothe me, and the feeling slowly ebbed.
finality, as he gently takes the wet wipe and brings it up, then hesitates. ]
I'm going to wipe some of the blood from you. It will be wet. Alright?
but the second taair touches him, jiaoqiu lunges for him to try and - what, strangle him? claw at him? he is trying to hurt. he's so injured that it's not a very successful attempt, it's likely. but judging by his expression, he absolutely does not want this. it's like his hands are moving of their own accord. ]
he keeps reaching - until he manages to wrench some control back and clamps his teeth down on his arm. near where that original injury was, the one at the crook of his elbow. ]
[ well, this is awful! he makes another startled noise, almost lunging forward like he could try to stop him from doing that, but that's not going to help, hands fluttering uselessly in the air. ]
-- ah! [ what - what does he even do, besides fret and worry and... nothing? right here, finally part of life, finally able to talk and spend time with others, finally able to use some of the many things he learned trapped alone in a tower, and he's still unable to do a thing.
there's more fear for jiaoqiu than anything else. can he do anything but fret and fuss? he can't take his hand, or that might make it worse, what if he triggers it again? all he can really do is stand here and... let him bite himself, and wait to see if maybe - if maybe it'd pass. ]
[ it doesn't... help, but it doesn't hurt, either. he makes a noise that sounds like someone stepped on his tail and does this motion - kind of like how a dog wrenches a tug-of-war toy back. yanks his arms out of taair's space.
and after a second, his muscles lock up again and he collapses backwards, thudding against the wall with a wince. loosens up. his arm drops.
[ taair's stomach churns, guilty and upset and scared for jiaoqiu, and after a long moment, he just - flutters over to the little sink and fills a disposable cup with water, fetches bandages, and brings them both over, taking the second to compose himself, swallowing a lump in his throat.
he doesn't flinch or keep his distance really, but...taair brings both over and sets them down close to jiaoqiu, nudging them closer. ]
[ after a moment, he brings his hand that he can still move properly to take the water. he looks pale and a little like he might vomit, but he doesn't.
a beat. ]
I'm... I'm sorry. [ his voice cracks, slightly. ] You don't need to stay, if you'd prefer to be safe.
[ radiant, that's the last thing he's ever wanted. to abandon a friend to be safe. he curls his hands in his lap together, finally dropping into a bedside chair. ]
... I know it will hurt you terribly, if you hurt me, I... I'm far more afraid for you than I could ever, ever be of you, Jiaoqiu.
[ if i had a nickel for every time flurry's pink furry got used as a weapon against their will in a cyoa i'd have two nickels
oh... that's even worse. it's - he can't even reach out, but the realization and immediate, devastating sorrow alike crosses taair's face, and he curls his hands tighter in his lap. briefly at a loss for words. ]
... [ these weekly trips are just awful, and they get worse and worse each time, and he can't help but think this, this specific instinct, had to be targeted. ] I'm... I'm so sorry. [ quietly. it feels silly, like that's all he can say. ] Jiaoqiu, it's... you couldn't have possibly wanted to do so.
he sinks down further into the bed, eyes closing. pulls the blanket a little closer. he's trying so desperately not to fall, because he knows people get angry at him when he does and he isn't in the best headspace to handle it. he can't handle the sad looks people give him when he numbs himself out.
so he drags in an unsteady breath, instead. ]
No, I've never... [ a pause. ] It was and wasn't me.
the urge to reach over and tuck him in is like, ridiculously strong, but he doesn't. just kind of sits, looks him over, hands tight in his lap, trying very hard to not make that happen again and still be comforting all at once.
at least - at least he can listen, and... ] ...Was it 'what watches from behind your eyes...?'
[ this time, he's ready for it - the dig of the fingers into the injury is hard to watch, but he keeps it off of his face. easy. press it down. those weeks and weeks in that military camp did him some good. ]
... How awful. [ softly. ] A healer's hands like yours, taken to harm against your own volition.
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week 3, thurs
taair will come visit! he's holding something under his arm, and says, softly: ] Jiaoqiu...?
[ just to see if he's awake... ]
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he's got slash marks across his face, too. kind of claw like. and his left ear is ripped in half - it's missing the top half of it, so he's just got half an ear.
he's curled up on a bed, shivery and staring at the wall, but it is unclear as to how much he is really able to see. he tilts his head with a lot of effort, and then, raw: ]
Taair?
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awful. cool. at least everything is hopefully (?) bandaged - the quick once over of his wounds makes his heart lurch, and it reads all over his face, in the very soft inhale he makes before he breathes back out. ]
...Yes - yes, it's me. [ and there's warmth in his voice as he says it, warmth and worry all at once as he crosses the room and heads straight to the side of the bed. he sets down whatever he's holding - if jiaoqiu's nose isn't too fucked up, he'll catch the smell of flowers. ] Oh, Jiaoqiu... is there anything I can get you?
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it's all bandaged yes, mostly. he slumps against the wall - he is sitting up, because nobody could convince him to lay down properly. he catches the smell of flowers and it makes him shudder, closing his eyes. ]
Tell me - the others. Did they survive? [ urgently. a little desperate. ]
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anyway NOOO FUCKS UP IMMEDIATELY but, those hurriedly set aside, he's right there.
and just as quickly - calm and steady, making sure he maintains jiaoqiu's usual bedside manner though not so perfectly: he cannot keep the worry out of his voice, no matter how soothing. it's still assured, though. ] Everyone has been stabilized, and everyone will be fine. They're in adjoining rooms. Between all of us, we saw to all of your injuries.
I can take you to their rooms, if you'd like... that is what everyone else has wanted.
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he looks... relieved, but also there's a wild amount of guilt in his expression that he can't hide. he drags in an unsteady breath. ]
Let... let them rest, for now. [ a beat. he struggles, and then: ] I'm not sure I can stand.
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[ there's a very soft hint of wry humor in the way he says it, a little lightness in the face of all this horror, though it doesn't last. he shifts a little closer, making sure to enunciate as he looks up at his ear injury, and then back down. ]
So... I'll wheel you in there, in a little while. But only in a little while. [ ... ] Jiaoqiu... whatever injuries they had - everyone came back alive.
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he rests his head against the wall. ]
... [ silence, for a long moment, as his fingers dig into his arms. and then, a little nonsensically: ] There's something watching behind my eyes.
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... Something...watching?
[ that's fucking concerning!!!! ]
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I don't know if it's still there. [ ... ] It was the forest. Now, I'm not so sure.
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[ he says, this time with firmness. finality. it softens, after. ]
I thought many of the same things - that everything I experienced followed me. It did not, no matter how much I felt it did. I found... the more logical people that I spoke with, the more it helped soothe me, and the feeling slowly ebbed.
finality, as he gently takes the wet wipe and brings it up, then hesitates. ]
I'm going to wipe some of the blood from you. It will be wet. Alright?
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... Alright. [ he can!
but the second taair touches him, jiaoqiu lunges for him to try and - what, strangle him? claw at him? he is trying to hurt. he's so injured that it's not a very successful attempt, it's likely. but judging by his expression, he absolutely does not want this. it's like his hands are moving of their own accord. ]
No - no, no --
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well. he is slow so he's not great at dodging out of the way - he just makes sort of a startled noise so jiaoqiu ends up with a fistful of feathers ]
--Ah! [ and does take a slight step away from him, just out of sheer instinct, his expression contorting into deep concern. no fright. ] ...Jiaoqiu...
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he keeps reaching - until he manages to wrench some control back and clamps his teeth down on his arm. near where that original injury was, the one at the crook of his elbow. ]
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-- ah! [ what - what does he even do, besides fret and worry and... nothing? right here, finally part of life, finally able to talk and spend time with others, finally able to use some of the many things he learned trapped alone in a tower, and he's still unable to do a thing.
there's more fear for jiaoqiu than anything else. can he do anything but fret and fuss? he can't take his hand, or that might make it worse, what if he triggers it again? all he can really do is stand here and... let him bite himself, and wait to see if maybe - if maybe it'd pass. ]
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and after a second, his muscles lock up again and he collapses backwards, thudding against the wall with a wince. loosens up. his arm drops.
his mouth is a little bloody, oops. ]
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[ taair's stomach churns, guilty and upset and scared for jiaoqiu, and after a long moment, he just - flutters over to the little sink and fills a disposable cup with water, fetches bandages, and brings them both over, taking the second to compose himself, swallowing a lump in his throat.
he doesn't flinch or keep his distance really, but...taair brings both over and sets them down close to jiaoqiu, nudging them closer. ]
...here... you're bleeding.
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a beat. ]
I'm... I'm sorry. [ his voice cracks, slightly. ] You don't need to stay, if you'd prefer to be safe.
[ his tail curls in closer. ]
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[ radiant, that's the last thing he's ever wanted. to abandon a friend to be safe. he curls his hands in his lap together, finally dropping into a bedside chair. ]
... I know it will hurt you terribly, if you hurt me, I... I'm far more afraid for you than I could ever, ever be of you, Jiaoqiu.
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I... [ a pause. he swallows hard. ] The others - most of their injuries came from me.
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oh... that's even worse. it's - he can't even reach out, but the realization and immediate, devastating sorrow alike crosses taair's face, and he curls his hands tighter in his lap. briefly at a loss for words. ]
... [ these weekly trips are just awful, and they get worse and worse each time, and he can't help but think this, this specific instinct, had to be targeted. ] I'm... I'm so sorry. [ quietly. it feels silly, like that's all he can say. ] Jiaoqiu, it's... you couldn't have possibly wanted to do so.
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he sinks down further into the bed, eyes closing. pulls the blanket a little closer. he's trying so desperately not to fall, because he knows people get angry at him when he does and he isn't in the best headspace to handle it. he can't handle the sad looks people give him when he numbs himself out.
so he drags in an unsteady breath, instead. ]
No, I've never... [ a pause. ] It was and wasn't me.
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the urge to reach over and tuck him in is like, ridiculously strong, but he doesn't. just kind of sits, looks him over, hands tight in his lap, trying very hard to not make that happen again and still be comforting all at once.
at least - at least he can listen, and... ] ...Was it 'what watches from behind your eyes...?'
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a nod. ]
The woods. I was connected, though... not by choice. [ his fingers dig into the bite on his arm. ] It was always a moment away from taking control.
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... How awful. [ softly. ] A healer's hands like yours, taken to harm against your own volition.
(no subject)