historicals | pc catchall | turboheaven

[ it almost seems like he's not quite there for a second - it takes a long beat, for him to recover, to put himself out of whatever he was drifting in. yves can see many of those flower petals are still on him - sticking out of his wrists, out of his clothes, around his chest.

he blinks. once, twice, takes a breath, and then looks up. ]

...Oh... Yves.

[ the petals..... are they attached to him?? fret fret fret ]

Yeah, just me. [ confirming gently ] Are you okay? Do you want to talk about what happened?

[ they sure are! :)

deep breath in, and out. taair tries to compose himself, the breath a little rattly. does he want to talk about it? ]

I... [ it's a lot at once. the pain of his injuries. the pounding in his head. the events that occurred, the quiet of his room. ] ...I'm... alright. Yes, I'm... I'm alright. I'm alive?

[ okay,,,, that's fine,, ]

You are. You're alive, and you're safe now.

[ assuring, even though a murder will happen tonight ]

[ yeah!! :)

anyway, he considers that. alive. safe.

...right. something collapses, internally, and he smiles, though it doesn't quite reach his eyes. ]

So I am. [ ... ] I...must have given you a fright. What... what happened?

[ gently brushes taair's hair away from his face, stroking through it gently ]

... shouldn't I be asking you...?

You just suddenly came back to the mansion, looking a bit like... armor?

[ ah... he doesn't seem entirely aware this is happening, somewhere between lost in thought and somewhere else entirely. ]

I... I don't remember that at all. [ hm. ] So...it did take me, then.

[ . . . ? ]

What did?

The illness.

[ ... mm. he glances down at himself, briefly, at the here and there gingko petals. familiar. ]

It was called mara-struck. An illness onset in long-lived species, that would eventually drive them to madness until they had to be put down.

[ . . . okay. this confirms to him what he thought. he frowns in return, still continuing to stroke through his hair in small, repetitive motions ]

... Taair, are you long-lived? Like Jing Yuan and Jiao?

[ another long pause - his brow furrows. ]

I... no. No, I'm not. [ ... ] I was - at least...I was there. I think we all must have been.

I'm sorry, I... everything is a mess, still.

[ presses a brief kiss to his hair, trying for soothing. it is so hard to just give him hugs when he's injured even though yves is doing his best to remain as close as possible without hurting him ]

It's okay. Don't say sorry. I'm just trying to understand, too.

[ sweet yves 🥺

this gesture, this specific gesture, makes something in his heart twist like a dishrag. he keeps it to himself, closing his eyes against the headache, against the pain, and against... everything.

freedom, wasn't it? out of reach, again.

he manages a soft laugh at that. ] Armor. I don't think I could even lift a suit of armor, let alone wear one... you must have been very surprised.

[ this is his lil birdie!!

his expression softens at that, a smile pulling along the curve of his mouth ]

I was... I was more worried that you kept trying to run from me, and told me to stay away even when you were the one hurt.

Where else would I want to be?

[ otome ass motherfucker

but he starts a little at this, head whipping up to look at him. ] I -- Yves, I could have killed you.

[ unfortunately true

yves just looks at taair and hums thoughtfully ]

I wouldn't have let you. [ despite everything, he is a confident fighter ] And you didn't, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

[ it is like completely ineffective in any way shape or form. yes, okay, he could do that, maybe but what if he had hurt him, and he never would have stopped so he would've had to die anyway, which is not even a problem but that's besides the point!!!

it's hard to articulate exactly how he feels in this moment about this statement, about everything he has been through today,

he just kind of

makes a face like this

YOU!!! speechless-ish and mostly ineffective gaping. ]

[ well!

yves just smiles gently and kisses his forehead! mwah. you lil baby ]

Want to lay down? I can get you some food too, if you're hungry. Or if you need more medicine...

...You are impossible...

[ but... at least it's a little more taair, a little less disoriented and strange. ]

I'm... fine. I think laying down might be a good idea, though... ah, I don't know if I've ever been in this much pain in my life.

[ just laughs a little bit and moves to help taair gently lay down, carefully ]

I wish you didn't have to experience that... I'm sorry the road to recovery can be so hard.

[ oh he is not going to turn down help in this moment. he is a pathetic twink, so he eases back down against the pillows. once he's still again, he opens his eyes - a petal wilts off. ]

...I'd rather it be me, over any of you. [ with a little bit of a smile, tired but still taair. ] So, I don't mind.

[ yves will just stay seated nearby, though he'll let his fingers tuck taair's hair behind his ear and continue to lightly run his fingers through his hair. his expression softens ]

I had a feeling you'd say that... but let us mind on your behalf. Any one of us would volunteer in a heartbeat take your pain away from you, too. I know I would.

[ ... ]

...I'm quite tired of that, though, I think.

[ he thinks of a little girl, a tiny hand in his. but i don't want you to go, taair. of the heartbreak on her face when he had to leave her behind. of a palace, with white stone, marble hallways. a gilded cage. ]

I think... No, I know, that I do not want others to hurt for my sake. I have been protected for far too long.

[ ah - though, immediately, apologetic ]

Though... I know you don't mean it any way but kindly - so... I appreciate the gesture.

[ ah... his expression softens in understanding then, no offense taken in the slightest. it reminds him a bit of a girl he knew, so desperate to stop being the reason others were in pain. a girl that yves already nearly died for, and as he looks upon taair, he knows that he'd take the exact same risks.

his fingers continue to run through taair's hair and he admits softly: ] ... I'm sorry. I care about you too much to agree easily. Even though I know that's selfish, and you must feel the same way.

But maybe that's just what it means to feel something for another person. To wish to take their pain away, even if it means taking it onto yourself.

So for now, I'll say... thank you, Taair. For holding onto this burden, even though I wish you didn't have to.

You've been really strong.

Perhaps that is the case.

[ he tilts his head up to look at him with that - despite the exhaustion and the injury, there's a very soft, genuine smile. these sorts of bonds are so undeniably, absolutely precious to taair - that he can even have them in the first place is already beyond the pale. it is these little moments, despite everything, that do make this place feel like paradise. ]

I will accept your gratitude, if you'll take mine in return. And... [ a hint of a twinkle in his eye, here - ] ... I think that maybe we can reach a compromise: if such pain occurs, if neither of us would avoid it, then...we simply do our best to heal it together. Whatever that may mean.

How does that sound? Fair?

[ whether he thinks he's strong or not is a different topic for a different day. for now, he just wants to relish in the moment of feeling a bond with another person, a link between souls that never existed before. as sweet as a first sip of wine. ]

pc catchall | turboheaven | yves

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