taair khalisa nasir 🕊️ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
historicals) wrote2025-02-08 04:07 pm
historicals) wrote2025-02-08 04:07 pmpc catchall | turboheaven | shadowheart
i'm a healer but meme goes here
historicals) wrote2025-02-08 04:07 pm
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[ and someone he knows, which is concerning. it's fine. ]
I couldn't remember anything, and... honestly, it's still fuzzy.
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Do you remember again now?
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there's a small smile. ]
On and off. It still feels as if I walk in those shoes, but... I remember more, at least.
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[because he looks. bad.]
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[ setting a hand on his heart... 🥺 ]
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[but we don't have to talk about it, if he doesn't want to.]
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Ah... I knew you would give me an honest answer. [ and though it's a tired smile, it's a smile nevertheless. ] I'm... I have been better. I confess, but I will be alright. War is nothing that I am not used to, but it is the first time I experienced it on the front lines.
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[ he picks a little at one of the flowers sticking out of his bandages, half-heartedly. ]
We were to act as healers on the front lines, among unfathomable carnage.
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I heard about the wolves. Terrifying.
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... yes. [ ha. ] They were foul creatures. I... [ ... ] We failed many things. But... I was at least able to save a child from his jaws, and...maybe many others. It is those parts of this experience I hope to hold onto.
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There's something about saving another person that feels... it doesn't erase all of the pain and hurt, but it means something.
[she's just the worst sharran ever.]
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[ he confirms that with a small smile - warmer this time, more familiar. it means a lot. meant a lot, then, too. if i can just impact one person. just one. ]
My homeland is ravaged by war - what little time I spent out was spent with soldiers and refugees alike. The sort of devastation and destruction that occurred there... it was not unfamiliar to me.
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[she's just. going to be honest in a way she usually tries not to be. because he alluded to having gaps in his memory, but the party made it even more obvious how they have commonality there.]
But the time I can remember was different. We failed a lot, and witnessed a lot of carnage and battle and misery. But we helped some people caught in the middle of all of that. I didn't want to, but we did anyway, and... I was happy.
I'm sorry you were thrown into that again.
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[ oh...
it means a lot to taair that she's willing to share this with him - it becomes very obvious in the soft inflection of his voice. it is a terrible thing to share, a lack of memory. a blank space, where you don't know what you did, or what was done to you - so his heart squeezes like a dishrag in his chest, empathetic, and after a long moment of processing, he turns his head to look at her more properly, with a gentle smile. ]
... I'm glad that you were able to build those memories. Truly. [ of saving people, not the carnage. he probably doesn't have to clarify. ] And I am sure those people were very, very glad for you.
It's nice to leave an impact, isn't it? To know you did with your own hands. [ to know, not the unknowing. ]
Thank you for your understanding and sympathy. [ softly and genuinely. ] In many ways.
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she can't know how much he really has in common; he hasn't said, and she wouldn't press. but it's enough that she couldn't ignore how hard it would be to be given a new, false set of memories, a false series of things to regret and to care about, and to not even know if any of it was real.]
I'm always happy to listen to you. But we really... must get to the bottom of how this could happen.
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(and to find a kindred spirit... it's nice, too. the gap in his memory is not as large as she described hers - but the gap haunts him. to know someone understands mean the world, too.)
he doesn't say anything about it beyond that, but - determination smooths over his face, instead, and he nods. ]
Yes... I agree completely. I asked Zuriel, but... apparently, one minute we were there, and the next, we were gone. [ ... ] What I experienced was likely an echo of Jiaoqiu's memories, of some kind. According to him, the war - the position as a healer - these were events that happened within his life. I don't know what that means for the future, or why... but that's all I know.
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[that's the first she's heard of that.]
What can that mean?
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[ (flurry voice) yay cyoa ]
Anders suggested that perhaps this place shapes itself as something in his homeland does. Influenced and impacted by those who live within it. But... it still doesn't explain how it happened, or even why. I fear that this is something we ought to have answers for, but something we may never find them for - much like many other proceedings.
[ there's a pause here - the more serious frown melts into concern, a furrowed brow. ]
I worry for him - I know he will take the blame for our... condition upon himself, and after the week he has had... [ mm. taair worries at his lower lip a little. ] Like with so many things, I feel I don't know what to do.
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What leads you to think these were Jiaoqiu's memories specifically rather than his?
[flurry was running it...]
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[ furry cyoa real ]
And when I spoke with Jiaoqiu, he said... what we experienced, specifically, was an event that occurred in his life. The situation we found ourselves in was more general, but at the very end... [ there's
a brief pause here, a sort of shuttering of processing something, blink and you'll miss it attempts not to dissociate into trauma. ] ... The way that he died, he said, likely lined up perfectly. A hostage situation - and far too specific to simply apply to the military.
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I wish I had any notion of how something like that would happen, but I truly don't.