[ more easily than he wants to. he still remembers seeing other test subjects losing themselves and being put down like animals — not that he'd had any idea what melancholia was at the time. ]
Been terrified of it happening every day since that first trial.
[ he thinks back for a moment to what he was told just a little earlier in the week - the casual mention of his earlier death. how terrifying it must feel, to know that you could lose yourself, but that you could lose your family for to an infection out of nowhere. how awful it is, when it hits. empathy twinges hard in his chest, and he nods. ]
I don't blame you. [ it is terrifying. it scares him too. he'd want to be put down if he hurt anyone - he wouldn't be able to live with himself. to have hit close to home was devastating. ]
...I think... at least - at least we don't have to go through it alone. For every awful moment, they are amplified by the better that we spend together. [ finally, he glances over - meets his gaze, with a tiny smile. ] ...Right?
[ that's... a difficult thing for him to agree with, and he hesitates in responding. at first, he'd been grateful for the chance to spend more time with basilio here even though he hated that he'd had to die for it to happen. now... he'd give anything to just send him back to their world and get him out of this situation, even if it meant never seeing him again. ]
Not sayin' I don't appreciate spending time with people here, but...
...Honestly, I'd rather be stuck as the only person in this whole bloody place if it'd mean puttin' an end to all this.
[ oh. there's a beat of surprise, eyes wide - but taair listens, and the statement takes him a little off guard, though... it really shouldn't.
the surprise melts into something softer, and he huffs. ] ...I never thought of it that way.
[ a new perspective. it reminds him for a moment of the miners, and for not the first time since they've met, taair finds himself thinking that fidelio is so, so brave. the true picture of an elder brother, too. fiercely protective. loving. a streak of protectiveness two miles wide. it's admirable, really, and he likes that about him a lot. ]
... It takes quite a bit of courage to follow that path. [ he says, softly, after a moment's pause, reflecting back a little smile. ] And though I'd never wish that type of pain or suffering upon you, or anyone... I see what you mean.
We will have to keep pushing to stop it, and set things right. Though it feels like a pointless struggle, some days... the steps we take forward are steps forward. Slow as they may be. The only thing we have to fear is our numbness and indifference, after all.
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no subject
[ more easily than he wants to. he still remembers seeing other test subjects losing themselves and being put down like animals — not that he'd had any idea what melancholia was at the time. ]
Been terrified of it happening every day since that first trial.
no subject
I don't blame you. [ it is terrifying. it scares him too. he'd want to be put down if he hurt anyone - he wouldn't be able to live with himself. to have hit close to home was devastating. ]
...I think... at least - at least we don't have to go through it alone. For every awful moment, they are amplified by the better that we spend together. [ finally, he glances over - meets his gaze, with a tiny smile. ] ...Right?
no subject
Not sayin' I don't appreciate spending time with people here, but...
...Honestly, I'd rather be stuck as the only person in this whole bloody place if it'd mean puttin' an end to all this.
no subject
the surprise melts into something softer, and he huffs. ] ...I never thought of it that way.
[ a new perspective. it reminds him for a moment of the miners, and for not the first time since they've met, taair finds himself thinking that fidelio is so, so brave. the true picture of an elder brother, too. fiercely protective. loving. a streak of protectiveness two miles wide. it's admirable, really, and he likes that about him a lot. ]
... It takes quite a bit of courage to follow that path. [ he says, softly, after a moment's pause, reflecting back a little smile. ] And though I'd never wish that type of pain or suffering upon you, or anyone... I see what you mean.
We will have to keep pushing to stop it, and set things right. Though it feels like a pointless struggle, some days... the steps we take forward are steps forward. Slow as they may be. The only thing we have to fear is our numbness and indifference, after all.