[ it's funny. the lives they've lived are about as far apart as they could possibly be. one locked up inside for his protection, one locked out and struggling to survive. one desperately lonely, one part of an inseparable duo. one who loves the world and dreams of experiencing it for himself, one who once hated it enough to want to burn it all down.
...but for all those differences, they came to the same end. pushing a precious person they trusted to make a better world out of harm's way and taking the fatal blow for them with no regrets about it.
on paper, taair is the sort of sheltered royal fidelio has always hated, safe and comfortable in their ivory tower while the common people are dying in the street. someone with experiences worlds apart from his own that he could never hope to relate to. but he isn't. he doesn't hide from the truth or cherry pick which parts of it to reveal; he wants to learn it and share it with all its ugly imperfections. he's optimistic without being naive about the way the world works. he's one of the kindest and most sincere people he's ever met — the kind who would make the world a better place by helping anybody in need. ]
...That fella weren't wrong, you know. You really are pretty amazing, though the book's hardly got anything to do with it.
[ of all the moments of his own life that have been replayed in this terrible house of mirrors, this one might be the least painful, despite the injury and circumstances. though he sets his hand on his own heart as it stops playing, he looks back on this moment with sort of a bittersweet sense of ... well. accomplishment, maybe, even if that accomplishment led to nothing, in the end. it led to protecting the leader, and that's really all that mattered.
fidelio's voice draws him out of his thoughts - he glances down, hand still on his chest, and then huffs, turning a little pink in the cheeks at the compliment, fumbling briefly for the right words. ]
... Thank you, my dear friend. That's kind of you to say. [ taair falls quiet for a moment after he says so. it's not awkward or anything, but moreso reflective, as he thinks on his own life, sad as it has been. caged bird, trapped creature, who made his own choice to die. ]
Perhaps...saving his life is the most important thing I've ever done with mine. If anyone will bring peace to Iria and set things on the proper course, I believe it could be him - and to protect someone I cared for in my last moments, of my own volition... I have no regrets about the choice I got to make.
[ he'd never say it so eloquently himself, but the sentiment rings true for him too. being able to protect someone he trusted would do the same for others (basilio and will, however begrudgingly) when he'd been powerless to protect his brother before... he hadn't minded an ending like that, even if he'd felt bad about leaving basilio so suddenly (and worse about it since coming here and hearing how dire things had gotten after that point).
he nods slowly. ]
Yeah. I get that. [ ... ] Pretty much how I felt about it too.
[ he hasn't had a memory share with basilio, yet, but - between this conversation and all the others, fidelio's mile wide protective streak... it's not at all a hard line to pick up.
[ he nods, and opens his mouth to answer ('not much of a surprise, is it?'), but the mirrors helpfully play the memory (3:10:38 - 3:14:25 even though you've seen this and i really don't need to link you) of his own death before he can try to downplay his actions.
it was for basilio at the end, of course, and there's no one he would have rather died for. but will and that family too — he'd been ready to give up his life for any of them if he had to, from the moment he'd run in and put himself in the line of fire to keep them out of it. ]
[ it's so familiar, is the thing. the way that these two throw themselves in front of that terrifying blast from the blonde man - lord louis, he remembers from last week's conversation, with no hesitation to protect the children? that's not surprising at all. they're a perfect team, moving in perfect tandem. coordination that comes from years together, from being one half of a whole.
and - fidelio's move to sacrifice isn't a surprise, either. he'll hear taair gasp - short, sharp, when the strike connects, the way he instantly tries to step forward like it will do anything, and he's left to watch fidelio die in his brother's arms.
the dream of the diner gets him. taair doesn't cry anymore, not really. he ran out of tears ages ago - but it brings a heat to his throat, because in that moment, he understands fidelio so, so intimately, and he falls silent as his world goes black, and the mirrors do, too.
taair exhales out as it ends, slow, a little shaky. and after a long moment, murmurs: ]
... It's a little harder to watch someone else's. [ but it's almost a little rueful, a tiny bit of a joke, and he huffs, shaking his head. ]
You know... I could say the same of you. You really are amazing, too.
[ ha. he probably should have figured he'd get those same words thrown back at him, but somehow it's still a little jarring to hear them. ]
Felt like I was just makin' one mistake after another for most of me life, honestly. Did plenty of shite you'd hate hearing about, too, and maybe you'd have some second thoughts if you did.
[ some of these other memories he's relived today have been painful for entirely different reasons.
but... he smiles a little, softly, and reaches out to touch taair's arm (a gesture that probably would have been a hand on the shoulder if he were taller). ]
...But thanks. Kinda nice hearin' it from you now.
[ he remembers the compliments from back when the profiles had first gone up, and all taair had to go on was words on a screen. he'd kind of hated it then, what had felt like flattery based on empty words with no evidence to back them up. taair still doesn't know the ugly details of the kind of person he had often been under louis, but he at least knows enough that fidelio can live with accepting some kind words from him now. ]
[ this is very light - teasing, a moment of heaviness out of this awful, reflective room of memories, but the sentiment behind it is just as clear. ]
The good parts, the bad parts. They still make you 'you', don't they? [ they still make human, but, well. he's not about to say that!
either way: taair's initial impression of fidelio was one of bravery, and it's one he has yet to lose. he can tell him the terrible, ugly things, and it won't make much of a difference. it adds to a fuller picture, a realistic picture, but what he'll remember is the incredibly fussy paripus who looked after him when he returned from his terrible adventure, and the elder brother who threw himself in front of someone he once idealized to protect two children. ] No story is flawless, and if it is, there's something wrong with the perspective.
[ he reaches over to cover the hand on his arm briefly, and gives it a squeeze. ]
But...the person I have met, I happen to like very much - both before learning more of his story, and after. I don't imagine much will change that. Good, bad, ugly - whatever it is, I'll be happy to learn it either way.
[ and then, with a little laugh, he sets his fists on his own hips and regards the mirrors. ]
Now! I think we ought to get out of this terrible maze of mirrors, what do you think? Even I can only take so much repetition of the past before I want to start thinking of the future - or at least the light.
Too right. About ready to call it quits on openin' doors for the rest of the day.
[ he straightens up, his expression a little brighter now... and offers his hand. can at least make sure taair doesn't feel like he's alone as long as he's stuck in this building. ]
You and I both. [ taair says with a laugh - genuine and warm. and...
he takes a moment, and looks at the offered hand. it's... this is one of those moments that he will treasure for his entire life, afterlife, and then some. the simplicity of someone offering a hand to hold, of company, of the kindness and care that comes from person to person - these are the joys in life that taair never had, before his first venture out of his cage, and before the heavens. after a life full of loneliness, it is so impossibly sweet, beyond all recognition, to have sat through each other's horrors and still want to break free.
it makes his heart soar, light and free as a bird, and with a soft smile, he sets his hand in his. ]
Let's. [ c: ] How do you feel about hiking, my friend? Picnics? Outdoor activities as a whole...?
[ light and teasing. teehee. ] I think I might spend the night outside, at this rate.
[ off we go merrily hand in hand to the garden - or at least out of this goddamn mirror maze. it's harder than you'd think it is, and more than once, passing a normal funhouse mirror gets a couple of giggles out of taair, simply delighted by the less memory related ridiculousness of this entire place. ]
You know... Zuriel told me I'd like it here - this island, in specific. She said that it's a place full of mysteries and strange discoveries. I'm not sure how many mysteries there are yet, exactly... but it is certainly very strange, isn't it?
[ peeking at one of those wide view mirrors.... goofy. ]
[ fidelio finds the maze pretty damn annoying to navigate, and his D in patience definitely starts showing once in a while... but it kind of makes him smile each time he notices the joy taair is getting out of one of these dumb mirrors along the way. (he also can't judge too much when he's got a couple of pictures on his phone of him and basilio standing in front of a pair of mirrors that made it look like their heights were switched.) ]
Huh. Went lookin' around the fairgrounds here a little earlier actually, mostly at that tunnel thing. It did get proper weird in there, the place was a lot longer inside than it should've been, and there were these empty carts flyin' at us. So maybe that's one of the things she meant?
...Don't really recommend that one, though, if you were plannin' to check it for yourself.
Ugh, Bas got clipped by one of 'em a little. Yet another bruise for this bloody collection he's been workin' on. [ STOP GETTING HURT!!! ] Yves and me, though, we were fine.
And yeah, we got to the end eventually. Some weird door that isn't usually there, but it was just an exit, didn't go anywhere unexpected.
He sure keeps those new first aid skills of yours sharp, doesn't he...
[ taair says with a little laugh and an "oof" wince. bas please ]
Well - that's good, at least. What a strange mystery indeed... [ huff. ] Chrono and I did a bit of hiking earlier this week and explored the forest, but there were no flying chairs involved, thankfully. Just quite a bit of wading through river water, and some friendly birds.
[ because like of course he befriended the birds. ]
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...but for all those differences, they came to the same end. pushing a precious person they trusted to make a better world out of harm's way and taking the fatal blow for them with no regrets about it.
on paper, taair is the sort of sheltered royal fidelio has always hated, safe and comfortable in their ivory tower while the common people are dying in the street. someone with experiences worlds apart from his own that he could never hope to relate to. but he isn't. he doesn't hide from the truth or cherry pick which parts of it to reveal; he wants to learn it and share it with all its ugly imperfections. he's optimistic without being naive about the way the world works. he's one of the kindest and most sincere people he's ever met — the kind who would make the world a better place by helping anybody in need. ]
...That fella weren't wrong, you know. You really are pretty amazing, though the book's hardly got anything to do with it.
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fidelio's voice draws him out of his thoughts - he glances down, hand still on his chest, and then huffs, turning a little pink in the cheeks at the compliment, fumbling briefly for the right words. ]
... Thank you, my dear friend. That's kind of you to say. [ taair falls quiet for a moment after he says so. it's not awkward or anything, but moreso reflective, as he thinks on his own life, sad as it has been. caged bird, trapped creature, who made his own choice to die. ]
Perhaps...saving his life is the most important thing I've ever done with mine. If anyone will bring peace to Iria and set things on the proper course, I believe it could be him - and to protect someone I cared for in my last moments, of my own volition... I have no regrets about the choice I got to make.
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he nods slowly. ]
Yeah. I get that. [ ... ] Pretty much how I felt about it too.
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he looks over and asks, soft: ]
...Did you die protecting him?
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it was for basilio at the end, of course, and there's no one he would have rather died for. but will and that family too — he'd been ready to give up his life for any of them if he had to, from the moment he'd run in and put himself in the line of fire to keep them out of it. ]
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and - fidelio's move to sacrifice isn't a surprise, either. he'll hear taair gasp - short, sharp, when the strike connects, the way he instantly tries to step forward like it will do anything, and he's left to watch fidelio die in his brother's arms.
the dream of the diner gets him. taair doesn't cry anymore, not really. he ran out of tears ages ago - but it brings a heat to his throat, because in that moment, he understands fidelio so, so intimately, and he falls silent as his world goes black, and the mirrors do, too.
taair exhales out as it ends, slow, a little shaky. and after a long moment, murmurs: ]
... It's a little harder to watch someone else's. [ but it's almost a little rueful, a tiny bit of a joke, and he huffs, shaking his head. ]
You know... I could say the same of you. You really are amazing, too.
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Felt like I was just makin' one mistake after another for most of me life, honestly. Did plenty of shite you'd hate hearing about, too, and maybe you'd have some second thoughts if you did.
[ some of these other memories he's relived today have been painful for entirely different reasons.
but... he smiles a little, softly, and reaches out to touch taair's arm (a gesture that probably would have been a hand on the shoulder if he were taller). ]
...But thanks. Kinda nice hearin' it from you now.
[ he remembers the compliments from back when the profiles had first gone up, and all taair had to go on was words on a screen. he'd kind of hated it then, what had felt like flattery based on empty words with no evidence to back them up. taair still doesn't know the ugly details of the kind of person he had often been under louis, but he at least knows enough that fidelio can live with accepting some kind words from him now. ]
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[ this is very light - teasing, a moment of heaviness out of this awful, reflective room of memories, but the sentiment behind it is just as clear. ]
The good parts, the bad parts. They still make you 'you', don't they? [ they still make human, but, well. he's not about to say that!
either way: taair's initial impression of fidelio was one of bravery, and it's one he has yet to lose. he can tell him the terrible, ugly things, and it won't make much of a difference. it adds to a fuller picture, a realistic picture, but what he'll remember is the incredibly fussy paripus who looked after him when he returned from his terrible adventure, and the elder brother who threw himself in front of someone he once idealized to protect two children. ] No story is flawless, and if it is, there's something wrong with the perspective.
[ he reaches over to cover the hand on his arm briefly, and gives it a squeeze. ]
But...the person I have met, I happen to like very much - both before learning more of his story, and after. I don't imagine much will change that. Good, bad, ugly - whatever it is, I'll be happy to learn it either way.
[ and then, with a little laugh, he sets his fists on his own hips and regards the mirrors. ]
Now! I think we ought to get out of this terrible maze of mirrors, what do you think? Even I can only take so much repetition of the past before I want to start thinking of the future - or at least the light.
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Too right. About ready to call it quits on openin' doors for the rest of the day.
[ he straightens up, his expression a little brighter now... and offers his hand. can at least make sure taair doesn't feel like he's alone as long as he's stuck in this building. ]
Let's get to it, then.
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he takes a moment, and looks at the offered hand. it's... this is one of those moments that he will treasure for his entire life, afterlife, and then some. the simplicity of someone offering a hand to hold, of company, of the kindness and care that comes from person to person - these are the joys in life that taair never had, before his first venture out of his cage, and before the heavens. after a life full of loneliness, it is so impossibly sweet, beyond all recognition, to have sat through each other's horrors and still want to break free.
it makes his heart soar, light and free as a bird, and with a soft smile, he sets his hand in his. ]
Let's. [ c: ] How do you feel about hiking, my friend? Picnics? Outdoor activities as a whole...?
[ light and teasing. teehee. ] I think I might spend the night outside, at this rate.
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[ gazes at virga island's temperatures ]
Certainly not a bad time for 'em, this.
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Do you think the garden may be safe? I could use a cup of tea.
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Won't hurt to go find out.
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[ off we go merrily hand in hand to the garden - or at least out of this goddamn mirror maze. it's harder than you'd think it is, and more than once, passing a normal funhouse mirror gets a couple of giggles out of taair, simply delighted by the less memory related ridiculousness of this entire place. ]
You know... Zuriel told me I'd like it here - this island, in specific. She said that it's a place full of mysteries and strange discoveries. I'm not sure how many mysteries there are yet, exactly... but it is certainly very strange, isn't it?
[ peeking at one of those wide view mirrors.... goofy. ]
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Huh. Went lookin' around the fairgrounds here a little earlier actually, mostly at that tunnel thing. It did get proper weird in there, the place was a lot longer inside than it should've been, and there were these empty carts flyin' at us. So maybe that's one of the things she meant?
...Don't really recommend that one, though, if you were plannin' to check it for yourself.
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oh! that makes taair look surprised - startled, and then frowning. ]
Flying at you...? My goodness - you all weren't hurt, were you? [ that question first. ] Duly noted... I will not look into that one too deeply.
Were you able to get to the end of it? Long as it was....
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And yeah, we got to the end eventually. Some weird door that isn't usually there, but it was just an exit, didn't go anywhere unexpected.
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[ taair says with a little laugh and an "oof" wince. bas please ]
Well - that's good, at least. What a strange mystery indeed... [ huff. ] Chrono and I did a bit of hiking earlier this week and explored the forest, but there were no flying chairs involved, thankfully. Just quite a bit of wading through river water, and some friendly birds.
[ because like of course he befriended the birds. ]