Then, I think we will find each other formidable opponents, indeed!
[ taair likes using his brain, and he loves, loves loves getting to interact with people - so chess is a special kind of joy, in this place. it's fun to be able to flex the things he read it about in books, instead of the extremely rare match he could ask his tutors to give him as opposed to pushing pieces across the board to his bird.
the mention of the name earlier does stir something, though. ]
Was it that moment that I saw in your memories where you knew it was no longer worth following him? Or.. did you have any inkling, before?
[ there's curiosity here, but it's a little quieter than usual - no less genuine, still. having seen louis through both fidelio and basilio's eyes, and having heard of him in strange, alternate timelines... he's starting to get a better picture, but it's the opinions of the two brothers in this matter that he cares the most for. ]
...Nah, I'd been strugglin' with it pretty bad for a few weeks before that. Bas came to that conclusion first. Always been smarter than me when it came to that sort of thing, just follows his heart and what he thinks is right. I didn't want to even think about it. For a lot of reasons.
[ but by god did he ever end up thinking about it. ]
Felt ungrateful to abandon him after how much he'd done for us over all the years, for one. And I didn't want to have to reckon with how much of the blood on our hands might've been spilled for the wrong reasons.
[ ... ]
And the part I don't think Bas ever realised the whole time he was tryin' to convince me... I was bloody terrified of what'd happen to him if we tried to leave. We were Louis's right hand men for a long time; it was never gonna be as easy as just going our separate ways. Even just talkin' about it, if the wrong person ever overheard, we'd probably have been good as dead.
[ it's a lot what he was expecting, and a little of what he's not, in a way. having heard the way a different fidelio spoke of louis, comparing it to his memories, to this moment now - it puts together a more complete image.
an image of a life as a paripus, oppressed by society, a life of someone who had been taken in by not just common human decency but a source of strength, too. how many common people walked with the darklight because they offered them a chance to begin again? how many people in iria, in the union, in the papal states, gave up on the systems in place because of the way they crushed the common man under the wheels of progress, with no sense of dignity or empathy? to see it resonate across time and space... of course it does.
and then there's fidelio and basilio themselves. both big hearted. both clever, in their own right, one a thinker with his head, one with his heart. two young men who were loyal to the person who was good to them, who turned out to be all he seemed and nothing like it at once. it's a complex, layered situation, and he falls quiet too, looking down at the flower fields they're sitting in. ]
... Terrifying, indeed. [ taair says, softly, after a long, reflective pause. how awful, too - talking about it reminds him of the story of a little dream, and how similar that ache felt, how many secretive, hushed conversations there could have been about something as small as a diner and a place like home. ]
Every person within a movement is just that - a person. With their life stories, their families, their complexities. And... those who seek power like that Count so easily lose sight of that. Or... never had in their sights, at all.
[ he takes a deep breath, lets the weight out of it, bit by bit. ]
Though the circumstances of being so are awful, I'm glad that you're both out from that situation.
[ ... ]
Will the two of you return home, when this is over?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ taair likes using his brain, and he loves, loves loves getting to interact with people - so chess is a special kind of joy, in this place. it's fun to be able to flex the things he read it about in books, instead of the extremely rare match he could ask his tutors to give him as opposed to pushing pieces across the board to his bird.
the mention of the name earlier does stir something, though. ]
... Can I ask you something? About Count Louis.
no subject
Sure.
no subject
[ there's curiosity here, but it's a little quieter than usual - no less genuine, still. having seen louis through both fidelio and basilio's eyes, and having heard of him in strange, alternate timelines... he's starting to get a better picture, but it's the opinions of the two brothers in this matter that he cares the most for. ]
no subject
...Nah, I'd been strugglin' with it pretty bad for a few weeks before that. Bas came to that conclusion first. Always been smarter than me when it came to that sort of thing, just follows his heart and what he thinks is right. I didn't want to even think about it. For a lot of reasons.
[ but by god did he ever end up thinking about it. ]
Felt ungrateful to abandon him after how much he'd done for us over all the years, for one. And I didn't want to have to reckon with how much of the blood on our hands might've been spilled for the wrong reasons.
[ ... ]
And the part I don't think Bas ever realised the whole time he was tryin' to convince me... I was bloody terrified of what'd happen to him if we tried to leave. We were Louis's right hand men for a long time; it was never gonna be as easy as just going our separate ways. Even just talkin' about it, if the wrong person ever overheard, we'd probably have been good as dead.
no subject
an image of a life as a paripus, oppressed by society, a life of someone who had been taken in by not just common human decency but a source of strength, too. how many common people walked with the darklight because they offered them a chance to begin again? how many people in iria, in the union, in the papal states, gave up on the systems in place because of the way they crushed the common man under the wheels of progress, with no sense of dignity or empathy? to see it resonate across time and space... of course it does.
and then there's fidelio and basilio themselves. both big hearted. both clever, in their own right, one a thinker with his head, one with his heart. two young men who were loyal to the person who was good to them, who turned out to be all he seemed and nothing like it at once. it's a complex, layered situation, and he falls quiet too, looking down at the flower fields they're sitting in. ]
... Terrifying, indeed. [ taair says, softly, after a long, reflective pause. how awful, too - talking about it reminds him of the story of a little dream, and how similar that ache felt, how many secretive, hushed conversations there could have been about something as small as a diner and a place like home. ]
Every person within a movement is just that - a person. With their life stories, their families, their complexities. And... those who seek power like that Count so easily lose sight of that. Or... never had in their sights, at all.
[ he takes a deep breath, lets the weight out of it, bit by bit. ]
Though the circumstances of being so are awful, I'm glad that you're both out from that situation.
[ ... ]
Will the two of you return home, when this is over?
no subject
[ he has complicated feelings about that too, really, but he's already promised to go back if they can. ]
I'm making sure Bas goes back either way, though. Still gotta take Louis down.