pc catchall | turboheaven | shadowheart

[historicals]

i'm a healer but meme goes here

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week 1; thursday

[sacredpath]

[where is taair resting? back in his room? she knows others got to him, but she'll still come by to check and help if she can.]

[historicals]

[ he is, yes! at some ostensible point he regained consciousness, and is just sitting in his bed, quietly looking out of the window, hands folded in his lap. he's not particularly responsive, or at least he doesn't seem to realize he has company. ]

[sacredpath]

Taair? Are you awake?

[quietly, trying not to startle him, while also looking over just how badly he's bandaged.]

[historicals]

[ oh. when she finally speaks up is when he does stir, sort of belatedly - he glances, and then - despite it all, manages a soft smile. ]

...Miss Shadowheart, hello... [ he is bandaged like. all over. pretty much anywhere that's visible! it's bad chief. there are also some golden flowers still sticking out through the bandages. ] Have things settled down, a bit...? I'm sorry, for the fright.

[sacredpath]

[ouchie ouchie.]

No need to apologize. We simply aren't sure what happened to all of you. Are you alright?

[historicals]

I wish I had a clearer picture enough to share... but - yes, I think so. I am quite missing my magic, though...

[ oogh. the HEALS ]

I don't even... it was odd - I don't even remember waking up this morning. Only that I found myself somewhere new, with... no memory of having ever been here.

[sacredpath]

...Well. That must have been disconcerting. Where did you think you were?

[historicals]

A military encampment... but, it was more than that. I didn't remember anything of my life. It felt more like I was living someone else's.

[ and someone he knows, which is concerning. it's fine. ]

I couldn't remember anything, and... honestly, it's still fuzzy.

[sacredpath]

[who could it be... mystery... ]

Do you remember again now?

[historicals]

[ gee

there's a small smile. ]

On and off. It still feels as if I walk in those shoes, but... I remember more, at least.

[sacredpath]

...I can't believe this happened. I wish we knew why. How are you feeling?

[because he looks. bad.]

[historicals]

Do I not look as right as rain, Miss Shadowheart...?

[ setting a hand on his heart... 🥺 ]

[sacredpath]

You look quite awful, I would say.

[but we don't have to talk about it, if he doesn't want to.]

[historicals]

[ there's a soft laugh - a bit of levity. ]

Ah... I knew you would give me an honest answer. [ and though it's a tired smile, it's a smile nevertheless. ] I'm... I have been better. I confess, but I will be alright. War is nothing that I am not used to, but it is the first time I experienced it on the front lines.

[sacredpath]

The life you were brought to was a war, then?

[historicals]

Mn. A quite serious one, between wolves and foxes.

[ he picks a little at one of the flowers sticking out of his bandages, half-heartedly. ]

We were to act as healers on the front lines, among unfathomable carnage.

[sacredpath]

[she shudders a little.]

I heard about the wolves. Terrifying.

[historicals]

[ haha! yeah! he looks a little far away, and it takes a moment for him to come back to reality. ]

... yes. [ ha. ] They were foul creatures. I... [ ... ] We failed many things. But... I was at least able to save a child from his jaws, and...maybe many others. It is those parts of this experience I hope to hold onto.

[sacredpath]

[oof...]

There's something about saving another person that feels... it doesn't erase all of the pain and hurt, but it means something.

[she's just the worst sharran ever.]

[historicals]

It does.

[ he confirms that with a small smile - warmer this time, more familiar. it means a lot. meant a lot, then, too. if i can just impact one person. just one. ]

My homeland is ravaged by war - what little time I spent out was spent with soldiers and refugees alike. The sort of devastation and destruction that occurred there... it was not unfamiliar to me.

[sacredpath]

As you know, I only remember a brief period of time. And the things I cannot remember... I think it's likely I did some truly terrible things.

[she's just. going to be honest in a way she usually tries not to be. because he alluded to having gaps in his memory, but the party made it even more obvious how they have commonality there.]

But the time I can remember was different. We failed a lot, and witnessed a lot of carnage and battle and misery. But we helped some people caught in the middle of all of that. I didn't want to, but we did anyway, and... I was happy.

I'm sorry you were thrown into that again.

[historicals]

Miss Shadowheart...

[ oh...

it means a lot to taair that she's willing to share this with him - it becomes very obvious in the soft inflection of his voice. it is a terrible thing to share, a lack of memory. a blank space, where you don't know what you did, or what was done to you - so his heart squeezes like a dishrag in his chest, empathetic, and after a long moment of processing, he turns his head to look at her more properly, with a gentle smile. ]

... I'm glad that you were able to build those memories. Truly. [ of saving people, not the carnage. he probably doesn't have to clarify. ] And I am sure those people were very, very glad for you.

It's nice to leave an impact, isn't it? To know you did with your own hands. [ to know, not the unknowing. ]

Thank you for your understanding and sympathy. [ softly and genuinely. ] In many ways.

[sacredpath]

[she's embarrassed by that response, and in general embarrassed any time when she feels called out on trying to care, trying to connect with someone else. it's so far from the way things are supposed to be, what's supposed to be easy, what her instincts lead her to.

she can't know how much he really has in common; he hasn't said, and she wouldn't press. but it's enough that she couldn't ignore how hard it would be to be given a new, false set of memories, a false series of things to regret and to care about, and to not even know if any of it was real.]

I'm always happy to listen to you. But we really... must get to the bottom of how this could happen.

[historicals]

[ i'm always happy to listen to you makes him smile even further, softer, down at his lap. it's such a new thing, to have people to listen to him. his stories. to be glad to do so. it's little moments like these that make even the absolute worst moments of paradise still feel that way.

(and to find a kindred spirit... it's nice, too. the gap in his memory is not as large as she described hers - but the gap haunts him. to know someone understands mean the world, too.)

he doesn't say anything about it beyond that, but - determination smooths over his face, instead, and he nods. ]

Yes... I agree completely. I asked Zuriel, but... apparently, one minute we were there, and the next, we were gone. [ ... ] What I experienced was likely an echo of Jiaoqiu's memories, of some kind. According to him, the war - the position as a healer - these were events that happened within his life. I don't know what that means for the future, or why... but that's all I know.

[sacredpath]

Jiaoqiu's memories?

[that's the first she's heard of that.]

What can that mean?